This is Katie

I’ve come to realise that I’ve mentioned Katie several times, but never explained who she is. To prove that she is real and not an imaginary friend, I’m going to tell you a little bit about her.

(She has no idea that I’m writing this, so I’m kind of just hoping she doesn’t sue me)

Katie and I met when she one day showed up in my kitchen. As she had a key and stuff, I just assumed that she was going to live with me. She stayed for five months, so I still suspect that that was the case. We were, as they say in England, where said kitchen was located, housemates.

Katie is from the United States of America and she’s the most American person I know. Hanging out with her reinforces every stereotype I know from American sitcoms, which kind of makes her a bit exotic.

She eats a lot of bagels and cream cheese. Once she was out of cream cheese, she ate mine, but still to this day, she denies that ever happened.

Once I had to sign a contract saying that I wouldn’t kidnap her or sell her to human traffickers. Ok, it didn’t say it in those exact words, but it was implied.

She came to Lisbon with me for a few days, and i did not sell her to human traffickers this time either.